Category Archives: Life At Home

I Put Myself Down

Yes, I put myself down.  Most of the time I do not even realize that I am doing it.  Does it build me up?  Does it build others up that are around me? I don’t know.  It’s small comments here and there undermining my own performance.  Do I really think that I can’t do something?  No, I know that I can do anything I put my mind to.  So then why do I do it?
merelynneIn this past month’s vlog in the Thankful Series I mentioned that I had my 30-day review with my current employer.  It was a great review until they told me that I put myself and my work quality down.  It was said nicely and politely, and in a way that told me it was untrue.

I put myself down…?

That’s all I could think about.  It was hard for me to hold back my tears because I was so ashamed that I did that to myself.

I didn’t know or realize that I insulted myself so much that it drew attention from others.

I talked it to death with J who said he could agree.  He knows that I could do anything I put my mind to, but even gave me recent examples of when my side comments lessened my accomplishments.  My Mom and Dad thought that it was a compliment because he wasn’t saying I was over cocky or have a big head.  They believe that my employer was trying to do me a favor.

I couldn’t see it because I didn’t believe it.

Luckily my review was on a Friday, which gave me two whole days to be consumed with that one thought:

You put yourself down and you do not need to do that.

Then I paid attention and realized – I do.

Why? I was always taught to be confident.  To walk into a room and act like you own it.  Did I start this bad habit in high school or college when I thought that others wouldn’t understand my ideas or reasons behind my actions?  Did I start because I really think so poorly about myself?

My employer doesn’t know.  J doesn’’t know.  My parents don’t know.  I don’t know.

put myself down

All I know is that I do and I need to stop.

I am making a conscious effort to realize it, pause  and correct myself.  It’s been about a month since my review and I can proudly say that I put myself down a lot less.  One day I might speak 100% confident in my abilities and work product, and that day will be amazing.

Don’t put yourself down.  Believe in what you do, confidently.  Others will believe in you.

Want to Shout It From the Rooftops… but I Can’t.

J and I decided on something for our future lives this past week.  I’m excited, nervous and just pretty anxious to start putting everything into motion.  Have you ever been so excited about something that you want to blast it to everyone, including the cashier at the grocery store? Well that’s how I’m feeling today.

About MeI’m one of those who struggles with keeping exciting secrets to myself, but this is one that i HAVE to hold tight for a few more months.  Okay, okay not a few months more like a year’s worth of months.  But I will zip my lips and keep it to myself.  I will not go public.  I will not tell the world…yet.

Here’s to some exciting months ahead of us and a life-change that is pretty stellar!

P.S. No, I am not pregnant.  I will drink a beer to prove it to anyone.

A day in the life of me

a day in the life I always read these “day in the life of” posts and think it is so cool to peek into someone else’s life for a bit.  My day is not as glamourous as most other blogger’s because I have a full time job that I go to during the week, so that cuts into a lot of my time (It’s so annoying having to pay bills!).  Here is an average day for me.
a day in the life6:15 – J is up and ready to face the day.  He is such a morning person and I am not!  So I hang out in bed with the pups for a few minutes longer while he showers.  Once he is out of the shower I am up and headed downstairs to make him a smoothie for breakfast.

6:30 – J is out the door and I am headed back upstairs to start getting ready.  I wash my face, put on makeup and fix my hair all while jamming out to some hard rock taking dance breaks with Tiny.

7:00 – I am out of the bathroom and into the closet to get dressed.  I try to lay out my outfit the night before to save time, but there are those days that I hate everything in my closet so that takes up some time.

7:15 – Headed back downstairs to make myself a breakfast smoothie, pack my lunch, let the dogs outside and just relax for a bit.  I like to check my emails while watching reruns of Dog the Bounty Hunter in the morning.

7:50 – I am off to work.  The commute is never the same, no matter which way I take.  Sometimes it takes me 15 minutes and other times it takes me 30.  I just never know.

8:20 – Arrive at work and start the day.

5:15 – Leave work and head home.  Again, the commute is never the same but my average is about 15 minutes on the way home.

6:00 – Hit the gym or try to work out some at home.

7:15 – Start dinner with J.  I like to plan ahead and know what we are making so that everything is prepped and ready to go.

7:45 – Finish dinner and make our lunches for tomorrow.
a day in the life8:00 – Finally able to sit on the couch and relax for a bit.  I usually pull out my laptop and work on, some of my freelance projects, or brainstorm ideas.  I also like to watch TV with J for a bit.

9:00 – J heads to bed and I get the TV to myself.  I have a few shows that I love to watch at night or I set it to record so that I can catch up on them later.

11:00 – Head upstairs, shower, and finally hit the bed for sleep.

That’s it.  A typical day in the life of me.

Life Update

life update

Whoa holy makeup, batman. I had someone do my makeup for a big event a few months ago… Wow!

I thought it was time to fill you in on a little about my life.  You probably gathered from this post about quitting your job that I actually did quit my job that I had for over 5 years.  Fortunately, I found a new job in the field I want to be in.  My bosses are amazing and I am loving everything so far.

Maggie and Tiny are doing the same.  They are spoiled and would not know any other way to be.

J and I joined a local gym and have set the goal of going 3x a week.  Eventually we would like to bump that up, but for now 3x is good for us.

We also set the goal of cooking dinner at least 4x a week at home.  That will help us save some money, eat healthier, and just spend more time together.

My family has come up to visit a few times, which has been awesome.  I love my folks and getting to spend time with them is pretty much the best.

I started a new vlog series and am going to be sharing what I am thankful for each month.

I have a plan of making our breakfast each morning and so far I have been successful.  A homemade chocolate peanut butter smoothie for me and a vanilla banana smoothie for J.

We are closer to finishing one of our debts and then will be diving headfirst into paying the next one off.  We will achieve our goal of saving a down payment for our first house!

Now for some sad news… well actually it’s not that sad.  I’ve decided that I cannot keep up my blogging schedule, which explains why my blog has been pretty quiet lately.  I typically post on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.  It is just too much.  So for now I am going to post 2-3 times per week.  I am going to aim for Monday, Wednesday and Friday but give myself Monday off if needed.  I do not need to stress about not being able to post and I think that will help the quality of my posts too.  If you have serious complaints about my new schedule, please let me know. 🙂

Makeup Free

MakeUp Free

I’ve started a new trend: I am going makeup free on a daily basis.

 Now hear me out before you gasp in disgust.  I love makeup, I always have.  I remember the first time I put on eyeliner was in the 7th grade and I fell in love with the smokey eye before it was even cool.  Then I saw some school photos of my perfect smokey eye and realized that I didn’t quite have it down yet.  But hey!  We all go through those phases.  Like the phase of wearing a t-shirt with a white lion on it back in high school.  I wore that shirt all the time and thought it was the greatest.  I think I was way ahead of the times because that shirt would total rock in today’s world, but back in 2002 it didn’t.

Anyway I am digressing.  I’ve stopped wearing makeup.  I am not one of those health nuts that thinks it’s better for my skin because honestly I haven’t noticed a difference in my skin texture at all.  I don’t think the make-up is horrible and am throwing a protest against the beauty industry because that would just be cruel!
make-up free feels good
Honestly, it’s because I am lazy. Yep, I said it.  I am going makeup free because I am lazy!  I like to sleep in late, too late most mornings.  Plus I work in an office by myself.  Tell me how much motivation you would have to dress to the nines when you sit in a chair in a brightly painted yellow room with no one to talk to.  You wouldn’t or at least the majority of you wouldn’t.

I do like to get dolled up for date nights with J or when we are going out with friends.  But for a day-to-day basis my make-up sits in its little bag on the bathroom counter.  I’m sure the eyelash curler and foundation brush are pretty lonely, but at least they have each other.  Perhaps one day I will snap out of this phase and realize that I should be wearing makeup so that I do not scare small children, but that day hasn’t come.  OR perhaps I am just getting more comfortable in my own bare skin and this phase is here to stay.

Only time will tell.

I’m Secretly Weird

secretly weirdWhen I was younger, like high school age, I would love when I would get sick and had to stay home from school. Not because I love being sick, no.  I am not that messed up. I really enjoyed having nothing to do and a reason to sleep all day. My parents were always concerned that I was trying to do too much and would get myself sick from the lack of sleep and busy lifestyle I lived.  Now if I only I could go back and just start skipping school like normal teenagers then maybe I wouldn’t have this love/hate relationship with being sick as an adult.

Nowadays it’s not easy to call in sick to the real world.  In high school all I had to do was convince my folks that I was too sick to get out of bed then send one or two texts and I was home free.  But now, oh man have the times change.  I have to wake up early because I feel that a 2 hour notice to your boss is minimal, which means I have to wake up by 6am to make that call.  Then on top of that I still have bills that need to be paid, clients at work expecting their services to be completed, documents to file and a house with a husband & 2 dogs to care for.

But yet, somehow when that first twinge of a throat ache or body aches sets on, I secretly rejoice for a brief moment.  That short-lived moment where I know that a couch, my pillow and fluffy blanket are in my immediate future.

Why am I so weird? Now I would like to clarify my sanity by saying that the brief and shining moment of “I’m getting sick! Yippee!” Quickly fades into “Crap, I don’t have time for this because I am an adult.”  Maybe one day I will be normal and hate getting sick from the beginning or, should I dare type it, be someone that goes straight to the doctor with the first sign of a throat ache.  That might be a bit too far in the opposite direction for me.

My Guilty Pleasures

I have several guilty pleasures that I partake in from time to time.  Some are a lot more embarrassing than others, but nonetheless they are indulgences.
guilty pleasure
Painting My Nails – I love having my nails nicely filed and painted.  Most days I would prefer to leave the house with my hair looking like a hot mess as long as my nails are nicely done.

Oreos – I read an article stating that Oreos could have the same effect on people’s minds as cocaine does… Who am I to argue with science?

Ghost Adventures – I almost labeled this next section as “trashy tv,” but that would be a lie.  I think I have great taste in tv shows and Ghost Adventures is one of a kind.  I’ve seen every episode and may or may not tweet live during the weekly premiere.
guilty pleasure Cuddling with my dogs – the best feeling in the world is when my two pups decide to sit on my lap over J’s or on their own couch.  No, the dogs don’t have their own couch, but we have 3 pieces of sitting furniture in our family room and since it’s just J and I, usually there are just 2 seats taken.

Dog and Beth On The Hunt – this is another questionable quality TV show that I am obsessed with.  I used to watch Dog The Bounty Hunter on A&E and was devastated when it was cancelled a couple of years ago.  I don’t miss an episode of the new show and to ensure that I don’t – my DVR is set to record each new episode.

Baking – I have to limit my baking because I will eat every.single.bite and that’s not good for a girl getting married in a few weeks.


Our Home Tour

home tour It’s been a full two months since we moved into our new home.  We have unpacked all of the boxes, hung some pictures in the main rooms, found a place for everything, and have even had some friends over for a BBQ.  This little place of ours has finally started to feel like home.  Even Maggie and Tiny are comfortable, which is apparent by the destroyed toys all over the house, their hiding spots from one another, and the obstacle course to go to the bedroom … er, I mean stairs.
home tour home tour Slowly I will give a little preview of our house.  Our office is more of a wedding storage room at the moment from all of the items that we have to take for the wedding and the wonderful gifts that we have received from our friends and family.  That room is going to take us some time to get it back into office shape.

I think the next room up will be the guest bedroom.  I do have a few more projects to get through in there and then it will be ready.  I love the idea of having a tranquil room for friends and family to stay when the visit.  I want people to visit us and I think the best way to do that is having a space ready for them at a moment’s notice.
home tour Sometimes it’s nice to sit back and just enjoy the present.


A Little Bit About Me

about me

About Me

So, here i sit trying to think of something to write about.  I have ideas, but no pictures to go with the ideas or I have pictures and have no idea what to write about.  It’s a vicious circle I live in.  As I get older (and closer to my wedding) I have been thinking a lot about who I am and how I got to be this awesome lady.  I thought there would be nothing more fun to read or talk about then a post about myself… okay, I’m really stretching it here and just need to finish a few other topics.

Here we go interesting tid-bits about yours truly:

– my first word was cookie, which is what I am blaming my food problems on
– I love black licorice so much that I named my first do Licorice.  She was a black lab, so it seemed fitting.
– I am absolutely terrified of clowns, people in face paint, masks, or fully body costumes and hate wigs.  Pretty much anything that can completely disguise how a person looks freaks me out.
– I love sweets and probably have the biggest sweet tooth known to man
– I do not like to go into our basement at night. Something about it creeps me out, perhaps it’s the glow in the dark stick-on stars that are all over our unfinished basement that screams this was a child’s playroom or bedroom; and it’s an unfinished basement
– I enjoy working around the house on projects.  When I was little I used to help my dad wire lights around our patio fence, install speakers on our back patio, etc. I am actually pretty handy

about me– My favorite dog breed is a Rottweiler. I had one growing up that would walk with me every morning to the bus stop and meet me when I was dropped off.  That dog saved me from a pretty horrible person one morning and at that moment I decided my children would have a Rottweiler to protect them just as I did
– My guilty reality tv show is Dog and Beth On the Hunt, which replaced Dog The Bounty Hunter.  A little strange, but I do love them and may have waited hours in line for their autograph at a Borders once
– My favorite color is blue and my last 2 cars have been blue
about me
– My favorite season is fall, which had something to do with why we decided to get married in November

about me– My  dream is to be able to provide a refuge for stray or neglected dogs that need a forever home


A Life Lived

Last night I had one of those down moments.  Where everything just seemed to be going wrong.  There is not enough time to get the details done, I haven’t found time to finish thank you cards for a shower, J could not do anything right, the dogs were driving me crazy, and I just needed to sleep.  It was a mountain to climb and I just did not have the strength to even try.

Those nights it is just best to call it a night and lay down to sleep.  I woke up this morning in a much better mood, realizing that things aren’t as overwhelming as I tend to make it.  Surprise!  I have a clearer outlook for today and spent time to make a list of what needs to get done.  I do love a good to-do list more than most things.

Life lately has been one big, fun ride with trips to see family, friends, and outings with some pretty fun people.  There are times when it hits me that this really is a great part of my life.  I am getting ready to marry by best my friend in less than 2 months.  Even though I get stressed out with wedding details, all the car rides for work and to see family – I am truly blessed.

Counting my blessings.

marrying J
two sweet, sweet dogs that truly love me unconditionally
a nice place to call home
a job that lets me have flexibility
great friends that have been there for me through so much
new friends that really make me feel like myself
family that has always supported me
J’s family that is there for us
the desire to be healthier and cook more at home

life lived

Life is good.