Category: Pregnancy

Why I Chose Not To Do A Maternity Photoshoot

Why I Choose Not To Do A Maternity Photoshoot

Some mothers love the way they look pregnant.  They just love looking down and seeing their growing belly.  They’re glowing and feel amazing the whole time (well maybe not the whole time, stupid morning sickness!).  They want to show their family and friends their growing baby and even stand in front of a wall with a chalkboard next to them that lets the world know just how big their little bundle is that week.

If you came here or to my Instagram looking for a shot like that then you will be sadly let down.  You won’t find a bump photo around here, unless it’s hidden under a dog’s face.  I explained why I don’t like the classic bump pictures a few weeks ago and had a huge response to my post.  Huge!  

So I thought I would explain a little more why I decided against doing maternity photos.  

What are you suppose to do with these photos?  Do you share on Facebook?  Do you have them printed to hang on the wall?  What?  I’m so confused by them.

I know I have a few more weeks to go before being full-term, but I don’t want to remember just how big I am.  I mean, seriously.  It’s bad.  I haven’t gained a ton of weight, but my belly is big.  Clothes don’t fit right and I just look awkward in photos.  

Why I Choose Not To Do A Maternity Photoshoot

The expense is not in our budget.  We like to budget our money on paper first and when it came down to it, I could justify the cost.  I am much more likely to save for a newborn photo session than a maternity photoshoot. I know that in 5, 10, 20 years I will still want images of our newborn baby to cherish. I will not want photos of my massive belly hanging on the walls. I can easily explain the rationale behind the cost of a newborn photographer and the cost of having images printed of our little boy, but can’t quite wrap my brain around the maternity side of things.

I fear that I would back out of the session.  My anxiety would just be too high when it came down to it.  I don’t like my body – I never have so that was way before pregnancy.  I couldn’t ask J to go through with the photos if my heart wasn’t in it.  He doesn’t love photo sessions anyway, so when I told him that I didn’t want to do it, he was relieved.  So if I hire someone, pay the deposit then back out that would be no good.  

It’s tax season y’all. Another excuse for not taking maternity photos is for tax season. I say excuse, because this one is not a real reason to stop me.  What I’ve mentioned above are reasons, this one is an excuse.  I’m working 6 days a week and pretty decent hours.  So to do a photo session I would have to either do A) Sunday or B) take off work.  That doesn’t really work for me and since it’s not a priority or even a need/want then I’m not going to sacrifice time off work or my one day during the weekend to get dressed up and traipse around.

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I will take a private bump picture. I had someone mention that I should probably take a bump picture just for me and only me.  I don’t have to show anyone.  That way I can remember the next time around (if there will be a next pregnancy!).  I agree with her and think it wouldn’t be a bad image to have.  But I do not want one floating around the internet for anyone and everyone to see – not like I’m so cool that people are going to search it out, but still it would be around.

What are your thoughts on maternity photoshoots?  Are you a fan?  Why?

The Beginning of A Boy’s Nursery

rustic boy's nursery

We have been making some great progress on our little boy’s nursery.

The first step was coming up with a theme, which actually wasn’t that hard. It all came together when we found a rug.  This rug.  I fell in love with the colors and the chevron pattern.  Then we based every decision off of that.  When I say we, I mean that I found something I liked and then confirmed it with J.  But he really didn’t care.

boy's nursery rug

The one thing J and I agreed on was having a room he could grow up in and one we wouldn’t have to change after a few years. So we avoided all the little baby themes and prints. No Winnie the Pooh or Mickey Mouse here!  We picked a few colors we liked and went with it.  I wanted more of a rustic theme, so we selected a few items that would pull that in.

We had quite a bit of work ahead of ourselves and we made a plan to knock out something each weekend. With it being tax season, I’m working 6 days a week right now so we didn’t have a ton of time to put it off. I knew I would be exhausted and not able to keep up with work and home obligations if we put off the nursery for too long.  Plus, the thought of being close to 9 months pregnant and trying to get the nursery finished just wore me out! So…

We made a game plan for our boy’s nursery.

We started with a priority list and then just starting knocking tasks out.

I’m a planner and J is a planner.  So we made a list of everything we needed to do. Here’s what we have on our list:

First was the closet. We had to switch closets around in the house since I was using the nursery one as my overflow.  We had a lot of rearranging to do.

We went through our closets and made a huge, huge pile of clothes to donate. Then we purchased a closet organizer to install in the nursery. I would love to have an organizer in each closet, but that’s something we’re going to save for.  It’s just not in our budget right now.

We discovered HGTV’s Fixer Upper.. I know, I know, where have we been? This show has apparently been on for awhile and has taken over like crazy, but we were sitting in the dark. So of course once we found Joanna and Chip Gaines, we had to have #shiplap in our home.

I was going to do a tutorial on how to this look, but I ended up working the day J and my brother-in-law put up the wood so it was just easier to let them go then to worry about creating a tutorial.   I did find one of my favorite tutorials from Mandy Rose and decided to share her awesome DIY Shiplap video with you.

I had a vision of keeping the shiplap a wood color and doing a nice stain to help it stand out.  But that didn’t happen. … I made a mistake and I don’t want you to make the same one, so I’m going to share it with you.

Don’t walk away from the man at Home Depot when he cuts your boards.

Just don’t.  He cut ours so wrong!  In the end I assumed he knew what I meant, but he obviously didn’t.  So don’t make that mistake.  Stay with the Home Depot associate while he cuts your boards.  Please!boy's nursery, shiplap

We used underlayment as our boards, which made it so much more inexpensive when compared to using pre-cut shiplap boards.  The boards measure about 8′ long and 4′ wide.  We asked for ours to be cut into 8-inch strips that were 8′ long, but that’s not what we got.  Our Home Depot said they could only go as small as 12-inch strips.  So we went with that and decided to use our neighbor’s table saw to slice them down the middle.  I explained that I wanted them cut long-ways and then I walked away.

Big Mistake!! Huge!

He cut them to be 4′ long instead of 8′.  Which meant it went against the grain of the wood.  I was devastated.  A pregnant lady on the verge of tears in Home Depot was not pretty.  My poor husband didn’t know what to do with me.  He was willing to not accept them, but it wasn’t worth it to me.  I felt like I was the one that made the mistake and I just wanted out of there.

I decided to just switch my game plan.  I thought about it and decided to use the gallon of white paint we bought for the small closet and just paint the boards a bright white.  In the end, it worked out better… Our nursery is a bit on the small side, so I think naturally stained wood would have been a bit cave-like.

Overall, the shiplap really fits in and helps with the rustic theme perfectly!  Using white paint helped bring out the seams and cracks between the boards.  Plus, I am not a perfectionist so some of the boards are a little wider than others and I think it looks great.

boy's nursery, shiplap

J, my sister and brother-in-law did all of the work.  My sister painted the rest of the room a pretty gray, while the two guys worked on the shiplap wall.  I am so lucky to have them!  All that’s left for our boy’s nursery is put together the crib and move in the rest of the furniture.  I can’t wait to share the final pictures with you!

My Favorite Maternity Work Wear On a Budget

maternity work wear on a budget

I don’t know how pregnant women do it… I just don’t get it.  How do they look so put together when they’re 6 months + pregnant.  That’s a lie, I started looking like a hot mess around month 4 – thank you headaches and being nauseated all the time!  How do they not live in stretchy pants and over sized t-shirts?  I know I do.  Well… when I’m not in the office I do.

I have found a few work pieces that I have rocked the majority of this pregnancy.  Thanks to working in an accounting office and it being tax season, I’ve had to pull myself together a bit so I don’t look a homeless person.  Thanks to my college days, I have the homeless, disheveled looked down pretty good!  Over sized t-shirts, big cardigans, leggings as outerwear, big messy bun on top and my Ugg boots.  That was my go-to look for most of college.  Nowadays, the closer I get to 30 the more I realize I can’t walk around my small town like that.  At least not unless it’s a weekend with really bad weather.

Here’s my go-to favorite places to shop for maternity work wear:
Destination Maternity
Kohl’s
Amazon

Destination Maternity is where I have purchased all of my work pants.  The petite size fits me perfectly to where I can where comfy flats with every look.  Plus, they usually have killer sales that I can hit to save some serious money.  Because, maternity clothes aren’t cheap!  At all!  And I like to be frugal, so I watch for sales and make my pants work hard for me.

destination maternity work clothes

I bought this style in black, khaki, brown, and gray.  I looked at the price, and I bought when it was on sale and buy one get one… so I saved some serious money.  While I really like the pants, I would not have paid full price for them – that wasn’t possible for the financial prepping we’re doing for the baby.  Now I have something to wear with just about any top and any pair of shoes in my closet.

Budget Tip: Sign up to receive their emails.  They will send a few each week, but always offer a Buy 1 Get 1 50% off sale or a final clearance sale.  

kohls maternity work wear

Kohl’s has my favorite tops – they are by Oh Baby by Motherhood.  I really like this sweater.  The pricing just seems to be more budget friendly coming from Kohl’s then from most other places I’ve found.  Plus, I like to time their sales with Kohl’s cash to make an extra budget friendly.  I like my tops to do double duty for me.  Meaning I can wear them to work for a client meeting, but can also throw them on while I’m running errands during the weekend.  I like to stick to light weight sweaters and cotton tops since this baby has added some serious heat to my body.

Budget Tip: shop on kohls.com and search out for promo codes.  You can usually search for some or sign up to receive their promo emails.  If you time this with their Kohl’s Cash offering then you’re sure to save some money!  I like to pair promo codes with Kohl’s Cash then turn around to spend my Kohl’s Cash at a later date.

Believe it or not Amazon has some great maternity work wear pieces to choose from. Most come with free shipping if you have an order of $35 or more, which can’t be beat!  Plus, returns aren’t usually too difficult if you need to exchange something that does not fit.

Living in a small town, there are simply no maternity clothes to choose from.  I’m not kidding.  Not one single store in my town sells maternity clothes.  I’ve looked at all of them, I’ve called all of them and I’ve scoured for anything.  So I’m having to do most of my shopping online or when we’re in St. Louis.  I’m used to shopping online and taking the risk of it not working out, but I haven’t had that happen yet.  I’ve been lucky I guess.

I couple all of my online shopping with ebates.com.  I’ve talked about how amazing ebates is so check out my post!

I would recommend checking the reviews or comments on anything before you purchase.

You can get a good idea of how a piece will fit based upon someone else’s review.  I love when women will share their pre-pregnancy size too.  It makes it so much easier to know if something will fit me if it fit someone who wears a similar size as me.

What are your go-to favorite pieces or stores for maternity work wear?

Our Gender Reveal Party

gender reveal party invite

Not too long ago, I shared some bits from our gender reveal party with all of our family. I started going through all of the pictures from that day once we were able to catch our breaths from all the excitement.

We had ordered a bunch of black balloons and had them filled with the right color confetti.  Then I gathered all of our favorite people – our family and friends to share with us when we found out.  I really wanted it to be a family event.  Deep down I knew it would be perfect if we all found out together.  After all – it takes a village and I want our village to be involved as much as they want with our kid.

So we gathered around, each couple with their own balloon and push pin.  Then at the count of three, we popped.  After waiting for all of the swirling confetti to settle, we were able to see the blue covering the ground.  It was priceless!  Just what I wanted.  But I also wanted to capture it on video to share with the rest of the family that couldn’t be there that day.

I ended up really upset because the video my sister recorded was nowhere to be found. I searched my camera, my memory card on my Mac and on a PC, but still no video. I was devastated. The one thing I wanted from the day was to capture the moment we found out and everyone’s reactions.

I didn’t have it.

Now months later, I was downloading other pictures and guess what appeared on my memory card?

THE GENDER REVEAL VIDEO!

What?! I couldn’t believe it. I immediately copied it to several places on my laptop. Then I edited it so I could add in some pictures and music.

Here’s the long-lost video from one of our favorite days.

To watch the full video, head to YouTube.

I think I’m Nesting

I keep hearing from all these women that I meet how I’m going to start nesting.  I mean, literally from the first 5 weeks of pregnancy I just kept hearing about it.  I know they are probably speaking from experience, but isn’t nesting just getting ready for the baby?

According to American Pregnancy, “Nesting during pregnancy is the overwhelming desire to get your home ready for your new baby.”

friends, monica, nesting

I think that’s fair.  I’m not trying to go above and beyond.  I haven’t turned into Monica Gellar and want to clean everything in sight.  I am not overdoing it (at least not yet, I guess) on nesting.  I’m doing what I have to get ready to bring a baby home from the hospital, or at least what I know needs to be done before baby.  I know with this being our first, I am going to miss a lot.

You see, the nursery was once a guest bedroom.  So the bed and dresser had to go.  Well the dresser had to go because J bought this oversized set before we were serious so I didn’t go with him to pick it out.  The dresser is as tall as me… 5’3”.  No joke.  The room is small, so we needed our dresser to be our changing table as well.  A dresser where I have to stand on my tipp-toes with my arms over my head will not work.  At all.

But J didn’t want to get rid of the dresser, because it’s very nice and it had a matching bed (that’s in our other guest bedroom, but don’t worry the dresser won’t fit in there either) and a night stand (that’s in our master bedroom as a tv stand).  So we had to move it into the garage for storage.  

Well if we were moving furniture into the garage then we need to make space for it.  We cleaned out the garage, removed a workbench and added shelving.  That was easy – one day and we were done.

Now the dresser fits in the garage and we can move the old dresser from the guest room into the baby’s room.  Easy.  My Christmas present was a new dresser so that new one will go into the guest bedroom because the drawers are bigger and I need more storage then the baby at this point… at least that’s what I’m assuming.

Once we got the dresser and the bed out of the way then we needed to work on the closets.

J and I switched closets since I was using the nursery one and guest bedroom one.  I took over the bigger master bedroom closet and gave him the smaller guest room one.  

Now with closets and furniture out of the way, it’s time to paint.  

That’s it… well at least for the back-end of the house.  I also went through our glasses to get ready of over half so that I can move my baking cabinet to one that was used for glasses.  Now I have an empty kitchen cabinet for all things baby.  

Makes sense right?

I don’t think I’ve gone crazy on the nesting yet.  Once the nursery is done and I can start putting the little guys’ belongings and clothes away then it might be a serious case of nesting.

My Baby Boy

Dear My Baby Boy,

I can’t wait to meet you, but take your time.  I may be in a rush to see your face, hold you and count your toes; but I don’t want you in a rush to come any time soon.  You still have awhile to grow and develop, so take your time.  

I haven’t even met you yet, but you are my greatest accomplishment.

a letter to my baby boy

It’s no lie that pregnancy hasn’t been my thing.  I was sick, very sick for a long time.  I might be tired a lot and I may not always do the ‘perfect’ thing, but please make no mistake – you are the best thing that will ever happen to me.  You are worth every uncomfortable adventure I’ve faced these past few months.  

Your dad and I can’t wait to show you the world.  To teach you and to learn from you.  You may not realize what all you will teach us over the next period of our lives.  We may not do everything right or by the book, but you have to realize that we are learning and doing the best we can.

We promise to protect you, but give you wings to fly.  We will support you, but also keep you grounded.  You will be the apple of our eye, but you will not come between the love we have for one another.  Your dad and I are best friends, we chose each other out of everyone else in this world and we have promised to love one another and support one another for the rest of our lives – and we plan on doing this.  But please understand – we would do anything for you.  We would go without so you can have plenty.  

As your parents it’s our job to make sure you know just how special you are, but also how hard you have to work to get anywhere.  We plan on showing you the ropes, but allowing you to learn and make mistakes along the way.  We will guide you through the hard times, but we’ll give you the space you need to learn right from wrong.  

We know, because we’ve been there, that you can do anything you set your mind to.  We want you to feel accomplished in your life – not by the amount of money you make, but the happiness you feel in your heart.  

We will cherish every moment we can with you and promise that you’ll be our little boy for the rest of our days – even though you will hate being our baby at some point in the future.  When that day comes, we will respect the man you’re becoming but just know that it will be hard to not see you as our baby.  The one we prayed for, stayed up late holding, and answered thousands of ‘why’ questions for.  

I know you’re still inside me, growing and kicking (a lot), but I can’t wait for our life as a family of three (with three dogs, of course!) to begin.  Take your time, just because I’m anxious to meet you doesn’t mean you’re ready to come into this world just yet.  I will be patient.  I have a feeling you will be testing my patience a lot for the next portion of my life.  I’m okay with that.  I just want to be the mom that I know you deserve.  

Financially Preparing For Baby

How to financially prepare for your new baby.

The other day J and I were having our usual discussion of going out for dinner or staying in.  I know I’ve said this a hundred times…once I’m home then I hate getting back out, but I hate cooking even more!  

After some serious thought and way too much time, we decided to stay in.  Really the thought process went like this…

J: What’s for dinner?
Me: I don’t know.  What do you want?
Me: I don’t want to cook and clean, that’s for sure!
J: Well we could go out.
M: Yeah, but I want to eat for cheap – like less than $20.
J. Well I don’t want fast food.  So what do we have here?

There you go… I’m stuck on how much we spend and J doesn’t want crap food.  So we stayed in and cooked.  We cooked dinner together and then worked on the dishes together.  It was a win-win-win.  Win because we didn’t spend any money since we used what we had.  Win because he had a healthy dinner.  And win because I didn’t do it alone.  

These small thought processes have overtaken us lately.  As we’re preparing for the baby to arrive, we’ve been thinking more and more about money and teamwork.  We’ve been taking a few steps here and there to prepare.

As you probably can tell, the theme for February is Focus on Finances.  So today, we’re focused on financially being prepared for our soon-to-be baby boy.

I want to share how we’re financially preparing for baby with a small budget.  

I mentioned a few weeks ago how we were making small budget changes since the beginning of the year, but I wanted to dig deeper into a few areas that are going to make a huge difference.

habits for a better life,

When we put together our master budget back in January, we talked about how our lives were going to change with a little one around.  We knew that we would have late nights, long days and be overwhelmed at the beginning.  We really have no idea what to expect.  The one thing we did agree on is…

…we do not want to be thrown a financial curve ball when we’re lacking sleep.

So to overcome this fear, we started budgeting as if the baby was already here.  We had two reasons for this:

  1. we didn’t want to face a financial hardship from our lack of planning.
  2. we wanted a financial plan for our money since we are going to have another person to care for and provide for.

Here’s what our budget looked like back in January – I have changed some of the numbers because, well, that’s private.

You will see two categories that may not make sense for a couple who doesn’t have a baby yet.  Those are Groceries & Diapers and Daycare.  Both of us will be working full-time so it’s important we find a daycare for our little guy.  

We estimated the monthly increase to our grocery budget to cover diapers, wet wipes, and such.  That way we could have a more accurate budget to go off of.  Then after researching we discovered a daycare we liked and found out how much their weekly charge is.  We figured by adding these expenses in now then we can start to learn what are spending will look like.  

Honestly, I didn’t want to wake up one more out of diapers and not have the money in our account to go by them.  That was a huge fear for me.  

As a team, we decided to add these estimated expenses to our budget so we could be prepared.

Here’s what you need to do to add in your future expenses:

  1. Take an educated estimate of what the expense will be.  Call around to get an idea of what it’s going to cost you.  You may have to think outside of the box for any expenses you have coming up.  For us it was daycare and a dog sitter.  We knew when we traveled to visit family we probably wouldn’t be able to bring our 3 dogs with us the first few trips.  So we factored in the increase cost of boarding into our budget.  
  2. Figure this estimated cost into your monthly or weekly budget at least 6 months before the expense will start.  This way you can get a feel for how it’s going to effect your budget.  Now if you find out the cost is too much for what your income and other living expenses are then you can make any changes, find a less expensive option or see if it’s really worth doing.  At this point you can also weigh other expenses you’re paying for to make sure they are still worth it.  For instance, you’re budgeting for your newborn baby’s formula costs and learn it’s going to be a little too tight for comfort around the end of each month.  Well maybe at that point you decide to lower your cable package to free up some cash at the end of the month.  Small changes will make a huge difference.  In the end it’s all about educating yourself before the stress of a newborn comes.
  3. A great tip is to physically transfer the money from your checking account into a separate savings account.  This way your checking account will be accurate with your anticipated new expenses and you won’t feel tempted to spend money earmarked for a future bill.  We transfer ours into our emergency fund because we know the account is off limits except when there is a legitimate reason.  By placing the money into your savings account you will quickly build an emergency fund for those unexpected needs after your baby arrives.  

I also recommend building your emergency fund to $1,000 plus what your insurance deductible is going to cost.  A few weeks after your baby arrives you will start to receive your hospital bills.  Luckily insurance will cover majority of the cost, but you could still be liable for a hefty deductible.  Most deductibles range from $500 – $1,000 per person in your family (ours is $1,000 per person with a $5,000 family deductible).  You will feel a huge relief by having an emergency fund of $1,000 (for those unexpected emergencies) and with an extra $1,000 to cover your insurance deductible.

To be able to save this extra money before the baby arrives, you can use a Sinking Funds Spreadsheet. It’s an a simple tool that gives you a clear view of what categories you need to be saving for and how much you should be putting aside each month to reach your goals.

After we added in the necessities into our budget, we started to look at items that we knew we would need versus the items we just simply wanted.

Needs vs. Wants

  1. Crib – to me a crib is a need.  Sure you can make due with a less expensive bassinet, but for us a crib makes more sense.  We know we want our little guy to be in his own bed starting at a young age.  Plus our bedroom is small and there will not be room for a bassinet or a pack-and-play next to it.  We have seen talk about a Dockatot and are curious about those.  It might be something to invest in (or ask for as a gift), but we will cross that bridge later.  So we plan on investing in a crib that will eventually change into his toddler bed.  We have done research and our deciding on a crib from Walmart.  We asked for one from my parents and they are amazing, so we are getting one.  We chose from Walmart because it will be easy to exchange if something is missing from the box (since we live in a smaller town), plus they have the best price.
  2. Car Seat – again, this is a no brainer.  We must have a car seat and I want one that is rated high.  We found this car seat from Chicco and fell in love.  It is rated very high on Consumer Reports for crash protection, which was vital to us.  It’s important to research safety items for crash protection, ease of use and just overall satisfaction.  That way you know you’re getting a quality piece that will last for a long time.
  3. Breast Pump – I do plan on breastfeeding so I know a breast pump will come in very handy for when I go back to work.  By doing some research I discovered how to get my breast pump for free and I highly encourage you to do the same.
  4. Swing – I go back and forth on whether this is a need or want.  Deep down I know it’s a want, but I realize just how much easier a swing will make things around the house.  So I plan on asking for a swing for one of my baby showers and hopefully we will get one.
  5. Changing Table – We have a dresser in his room that is packed full of all his goodies.  So in my mind I will be using this dresser as his changing table.  I do not see the value of investing in another piece of furniture as a changing table.  Sure they may have compartments and drawers specifically for diapers, wipes, and creams; however, this is one area that we can cut our costs.
  6. Special Bottles – Unless our little guy has bad gas, I don’t plan on purchasing expensive bottles.  I have heard good things about Dr. Brown’s and their price is comparable to other bottles I found at the store.  I think these can be good transition bottles from a newborn to older since they have interchangeable nipples for older babies.

Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding

We plan to breastfeeding and am hoping that it works out for us (my take on breastfeeding vs. formula feeeding).  I think breastfeeding will be a huge money saver.  Not only is breast milk like liquid gold, but it’s also free.  If you have a small budget then breastfeeding is the way to go!  However, if you decide not to breastfeed or can’t then DO NOT feel bad about it.  The end goal is to have a healthy baby, so either way you get nutrients into their system is fine.  If you decide not to breastfeed or find out you can’t, you just need to take the steps from above to add the expense into your budget.

Cloth Diapers vs. Disposable Diapers

For us we understand the added expense of disposable diapers, but this is the route we are still going to take.  If you want to keep your budget with a little room then cloth diapers may be the way to go.  However, we feel like we can make it work with disposable diapers.  A lot of moms feel that cloth diapering is great and they love how it saves money, but that’s a personal preference.  I like the ease of disposable and that draws me to them.  My mother-in-law did tell me how when her twin boys (my brother-in-laws) were younger she received a subscription for a cloth diapering service.  I think it was for the first year.  This service would take away old diapers and bring new ones each week or so.  I can imagine a service like that being invaluable and it might be worth it to add to your budget if it’s an interest.

Baby Clothes

One of the easiest ways to save money is on baby clothes.  If this is your first baby then chances are you will be receiving lots of clothes from your baby showers.  It seems clothes are one of the most gifted items to expectant mothers.  If you need to fill in any gaps then buy USED.  Consignment stores and yard sales are a great place to buy quality pieces at a huge discount.  You may even be able to negotiate a lower price at a yard sales, which means even more savings.

Also, another way to save on clothes is if you have any good friends or family members who have recently had a little one.  You can borrow the clothes their baby has outgrown.  Hopefully the seasons will line out so it makes it easier on you, but even then you can probably make most of the outfits work even if the season is wrong.  Because I don’t think it matters if you’re little one is wearing a Valentine shirt in March.  If it fits then don’t worry about it.

Finally, you will want to reevaluate your budget once your baby has come.  This is a great tool to get your new budget categories added, but reality could be much different.  I created a recap of how this preparation really helped us after our little guy was here.  We did a lot of things really well, but we didn’t fully capture everything we should have.

 



Just remember this technique can work for just about any big life change you have.

That’s what’s so great about it!

Getting ready to move?  Take a look at what changes in income, if any, you’ll be facing.  Have you looked at what the living expenses are going to be?  There is so much to consider when planning a move…

rent increase (or mortgage)
insurance increase
grocery increase
gas for your (will you be driving further to get to work?)
and many, many more

Maybe you’ll be lucky and there won’t be any increases.  Maybe the clouds will open up and you will actually have a decrease…

What about thinking of quitting your job to become self-employed.  You need to really think about what your realistic income will be and try to start living off of it.  There are some great articles out there on preparing to become self-employed.  I really liked the one “How Much to Save Before Quitting My Job” by GoGirlFinance.  

The biggest thing you have to do is plan it out, think it through and then commit.

Finance Focus for February 2016

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I am declaring this month to be Finance Focus February.

Here I am, about 26 weeks pregnant.  This whole nesting thing has kicked in and I’m dying to reorganize something in our home.  I’ve already got my hands on our garage and the closets and the kitchen.  But I need something else.  So since it’s late and not the easiest for me to be sneaky anymore, I’m on the computer.  With nothing to really do, my brain starts wondering and I start worrying.  Insurance for the baby? I have that figured out.  Maternity leave?  Luckily, I work for my dad’s company so I can stay home or take the baby with me.  It’s whatever I feel comfortable with.  Money?  Do we have enough?

It’s no lie that money can stress me out.  I have this love-hate relationship with money.  I’m pretty sure most of us do.  We could always do with a little more (not a lot, we don’t want to be greedy or anything), but we seem to get by with what we have.  

As I’m getting closer and closer to this baby’s arrival I have been on full-attack mode when it comes to our finances.  I know that babies are expensive.  I just don’t know how expensive yet.  So, J and I have made a pact to be really focused and really diligent about our spending until the baby comes.  That way we can have our savings built up and be ready to tackle anything.

Back in January when I was doing our annual budget, I had an aha-moment…

…I realized we need to plan as if the baby was already here.

The last thing we needed to be worrying about or stressing over was our finances when we’re trying to learn how to take care of another human being.  I knew something was going to slip.  It just had to.  There are only so many balls a person can juggle before they all come tumbling down.  So until I learn how to care for a newborn baby and what our new “normal” is going to be, I didn’t want to be navigating a new financial situation.  Make sense?

We budgeted for all of the baby expenses that we knew of back in January.

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Yes, the baby isn’t here and we’re not planning for him to make his debut for a few more months.  But I knew how much daycare was going to cost each month.  I would share that number, but from talking with my friends that have newborns in bigger cities, I realize just how lucky we are – like half-as-much lucky then they are!  So thankful!

Here was our master plan: Twice a month, I take our cost of daycare (let’s say $900 for the whole month, but it’s not that!) and we split it into two payments of $450 each.  Then we take the amount and transfer it into our savings account.  We’re already learning on how to get by with $900 less each month AND we’re building our savings account a little faster for those rainy days.  

I’ve more than doubled our grocery budget back in January and am transferring our leftover amount each month into our savings.  Because… honestly I have no idea how much diapers, wipes and everything else is going to cost us each month either.

Here’s my other finance focus thought…

Our emergency fund is the same as our insurance deductibles.  Now we’re adding another human being, which means a higher deductible for one of us.  So by building our emergency fund we are preparing for an unexpected expense.  When something comes up, because we ALL know it will then we won’t be in too much pain.

Genius!

Now, this is a learning curve for both J and I.  As both new parents, everything is going to be… well, new.  So I did a little research and saw on Parenting the cost of raising a newborn is roughly $12,000 for the first year.  Gulp!  That’s crazy!  And that was for 2010!  I know inflation and costs have just continued to climb ever year so it’s going to be a lot more now.  All I know is that we’re taking the right steps to get there.  We will make adjustments as it goes along.  But for now, we’re rocking and rolling.  What did you do to prepare for your first baby?  Any tips or tricks?  

Want more budgeting tips? Check them out here!

Why I’m not a Fan of the Classic Bump Pictures

no to baby bump pictures

I know you’ve seen them on instagram and pinterest.  You know – the bump pictures.  The women who are strategically standing in front of a full length mirror or having someone take a nicely posed image of their bump.  They usually have their hands wrapped around their growing belly to showcase their little one inside.

But… you will not see that baby bump image from me.

I am just no a fan of classic baby bump pictures.  Or any bump pictures.

I just don’t want to see an image of myself.  I know it stems from me being self-conscious about my body, which came way before my pregnancy.  For the longest time I didn’t feel pregnant and I knew I didn’t look it.  Now, with every kick and rib cage jab, I know that I am very much pregnant with an active little boy.  However, I still don’t like looking it.  J can’t understand.  He tries to be supportive.  Telling me I’m pretty and that it’s okay I look pregnant – because I should look pregnant!

This is my time to shine and all I want to do is hide it under flowy tunics and cardigans.

I’m not sure why I’m so self-aware, but I am.  This is part of the reason why I have zero. zip. natta. baby bump pictures.  I’ve even decided against having a maternity photoshoot.  I just don’t want it.  I will never display the pictures and am much more likely to save the money for a newborn shoot instead.  To me, choosing between a maternity session or newborn session of our son is a no-brainer.  I would choose the newborn photos every single time.

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I remember seeing this article where the dad takes the maternity pictures in place of his wife. Why?  Because his wife simply didn’t want to.  I remember thinking to myself this is genius and funny and amazing!  I would be that woman.  I would be the wife that just didn’t want to get in front of a camera and I applauded her for it.  I still do.  Here I am sitting, pregnant belly and all and I still feel the same way about maternity pictures as I did before I even was married and thinking about a family.

Sure, it would be nice to have comparison shots for our (potential) second child.  That way I can see how different I carried our first born to our second (and probably last) born.  In reality, though, I don’t think I care enough to take the bump shot.

You may be thinking to yourself – geez this woman must have gained a ton of weight so far.  And no, that’s not the case.  Yes, I was a bit heavy before the pregnancy, but nothing too crazy and I wasn’t ashamed.  No, I have not gained much weight at all.  The doctor says everything looks good and the baby is normal, so I’ll go with what he says on my weight.  I know I have about 4 months to go, but I’m feeling good (except right now because he has made himself at home digging in my ribs again – thank you baby boy!).

What do you think about maternity shoots or the classic baby bump pictures?  Are you a fan or not?  

Three Dogs and a Baby Bump

The other day I was watching one of my favorite movies – 3 Men and a Little Lady.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the first one just as much.  It so sweet – the story of these suave-like men struggling with simple tasks like changing a diaper, feeding and hiding drugs in the baby’s diaper; and yet in the end that baby was exactly what they needed in the lives.  In the second one I just loved when Peter and Sylvia finally got together and they all lived happily ever after.

I have a little funny scenario going on in my life… three dogs and a baby bump.  These dogs just think they rule the house, which in reality they do.  But I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell them that will all change in just a few short months.  At times I feel like they have no idea what’s going on with Mom, especially when they decide to rough house and use the couch as the safe zone until one of them tackles the other.  Then they do something that surprises me – they’re calm.  Each one, in their own way.

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The other night while sitting and watching TV, I was about to fall asleep when Bud came and joined me.  You see, J has let Bud think he controls the seat.  So he wants right in between your legs.  Usually using your leg as a pillow, but that night, Bud did something sweet.  He laid his head on my ever-growing belly and was calm.  We sat like that for an extra long time.  And I just knew that he was listening to his little brother in there.  The baby was calm, Bud was calm and I was able to close my eyes for a bit.

A similar situation happened with Tiny one night while laying in bed.  The baby was moving like crazy and sometimes it was actually hurting – he really likes those ribs!  Tiny came up and put her head on my belly … the baby laid still and settled.  As soon as Tiny got up the baby did a high kick straight into my ribs.  I think he liked having Tiny right there…. at least I did!

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Maggie, she’s my princess.  My first one and the start to my strange-love to save all dogs.  She cuddles more and has wanted to spend a lot of time in the soon-to-be nursery. I can’t tell if she knows changing is coming or if she doesn’t want to miss any of it.

I’ve been noticing a pattern whenever one of the dogs put their heads on my belly.  Everyone gets calm.  I have a pretty strong feeling this little boy is going to be so loved, not just by me and J, but also by these three crazy dogs of ours.