I’m going to start a new series over here on merelynne.com. Something that we all may be struggling with, have struggled with, or know someone who is struggling with it. It’s weight loss.
I’ve never had an eating disorder. I’ve never exercised past the point of exhaustion. Maybe I didn’t have the will power or maybe it’s because I’m too logical and I knew those approaches were not good for me, mentally. I’m not sure what it is. I was pretty fit in high school. Sure I had a little chub to my stomach, my arms were always huge and I never liked my thighs, but I was still small. In college I gained weight, but lost it towards the end of my graduate program. I kept the weight off for a few years, but then came marriage and becoming settled in my adult life. I’ve noticed over the past year that the weight as slowly crept back on and I’m struggling with getting it off.
I’m not talking about an unrealistic goal of me with a six-pack abs, a thigh gap and no love handles. I’m talking about a healthier version of myself. One that I’m proud of and walk around with confidence. I’m tired of hiding myself in over-sized shirts and sweaters. I’m tired of feeling guilty after every meal – even the meals that I know are clean and healthy. I’m just tired. I figured if I actually talk about my issues and share them with others then maybe I will give myself a chance to heal.
You know what I really want from all of this? The chance to play with my puppies at the park without getting out of breath. The ability, that when the day comes and I’m a mother, to spend time with my children on the floor playing or in the backyard running around. I don’t want to be a lazy adult or tired parent. I don’t have kids right now and we don’t plan on starting a family for a few more years, but I want to get ready now. I don’t want to put this off until after I have a child. I’m already the queen of excuses now I can imagine adding a baby to the mix.
I’m starting small. Eating cleaner, less processed food. Portion control will be key. Exercising will be a huge component. I joined Crossfit in my town about 2 months ago and I love it. I feel accomplished and challenged each time I go. Plus, I’ve met a few people and knowing someone there always helps encourage me to actually go. However, I need to be more consistent. I currently go about 2-3 times a week, but I don’t make it a priority when I’m tired or have to work later. I need to change that. It should be ranked higher on my to-do list.
I don’t have a set goal weight that I’d like to achieve. I think I’ll know it when I get there. I think there is too much emphasis being placed on a number on a scale and for me, I want my emphasis to be on how I feel.
I plan on sharing weekly updates about how I’m doing and how I’m feeling. You see, I know that a lot people I don’t know reads this blog (which is amazing!), but I also know my family reads this too. I think it’s important for me to show them how I’m feeling because I need support. I have J and he supports me with everything I do, but I need more and I want more support.
So with all that being said I’m crossing my fingers, saying a prayer for guidance and sending this off to be published.
