Earlier this week I posted about how J and I are budgeting for our wedding (check it out here). I mentioned prioritizing what is important to both of you for your wedding. J and I both had different ideas of what was important, so we had to come together in agreement.
I have some tips on how to rank what is important to you:
Tip 1: Have both of you come up with a list or an idea of what you want your day to look like. Then once you have an idea, talk about it with each other. See which parts match up and make those a high priority.
Tip 2: Discuss the differences. When J and I were talking about photos of us as a married couple we realized that we had a problem. You see, I wanted to see each other before the wedding to take our pictures. I figured it would save time between the ceremony and reception so that we could have the ceremony later in the day and a shorter reception. However, it was important to J that he not see me until I was walking down the aisle. After discussing our views for a while, I finally realized just how important it was to him. So, now we have bumped our wedding time up and added a cocktail hour so that we can have pictures taken after the ceremony. We understand that taking pictures after the ceremony is going to increase our budget because we will be having a cocktail hour, but it was great to learn what was important to him and listening.
Tip 3: Don’t get emotional when talking about it. I am one that can go from 0 to 90 in less than two seconds when it comes to discussing a topic. J is really good about calming me down and making me breath. So, just remember that the two of you are just having a conversation and nothing is set in stone at that moment. If you need to walk away and think about it for a day, that’s okay.
So, sit down with your future spouse and discuss what matters most to you. Remember this is your day, so make it what you want.