Newlywed Myths Debunked

By Meredith Rines, MBA, CFP® on January 28, 2014

You know what I am sick of hearing? “Oh enjoy the honeymoon stage because it doesn’t last forever.” That statement usually precedes a bunch of chuckling or a tap on the arm. But c’mon! I am so tired of hearing that. Do people really believe the first year of marriage is perfect and that the rest are horrible? Because if they do then that might explain the divorce rate in America.

I know that J and I look like on this blog that are marriage is great. Honestly, I would not change one single thing about our relationship. However, there are some newlywed myths that need to be debunked immediately.

1) It’s not all rainbows and sunshine. Every moment of the day I am madly in love with J, but that does not mean we get along every second or do not have our disagreements. The key is that we are communicating and learning how to disagree with one another. Not so that we can get the upperhand over the other person, but so we can effectively come to a conclusion that is best for us as a whole.

2) Money does not cause us to fight with one another. We have out talks about money and budgeting, but we do not fight with each other. There is no blaming for who spent what and where it was spent. No, our discussions consist of who is paying which bill and making sure that I actually mailed the check. It’s absolutely silly to fight about money and blame one another. I’ve talked before in the past how we budget our discretionary money and it still works for us.

3) Weekends are not always for running errands and working around the house. I have seen so many unrealistic TV shows that depict newlywed couples running errands, painting a room, or building something together on the weekends. Now, we do work around the house and maybe when the day comes that we own a house this might change. But for now, we do not work around the house all weekend. We really spend the weekend to be together, hang out with our friends that all work real jobs, too and travel to see family. There are a lot of Sundays I wake up and go from pajamas to sweat pants so I can watch the football game in our big fluffy recliner.

4) You want to do everything together. That myth is so wrong! I love J and I do love spending time together, but I do not want to spend every waking moment together. Plus, I’m pretty sure he feels the same way. I think that our relationship is stronger because we do have our circle outside of our marriage. I think what works here is that we do not mind that we have our own interests and hobbies. That’s what is so great about it – J is really supportive when my friends are here visiting and realizes that I may want some girl time and I do the same for him with his guy friends.

With any relationship the key is balance. I really think that J and I have it and hope that other couples find it too. J supports my dreams and goals, and I support his. We push one another to be better versions of ourselves and to grow. I’m sure there are other myths out there that need to be debunked, but I’ll save that for another day.

Background photo by DColeman.